Punkeys

I knew that Punkeys were getting more sophisticated in their plots to overthrow us, but I didn’t see how sophisticated until this article at Science Daily:

Researchers at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center, Emory University, have found socially subordinate female rhesus macaques over consume calorie-rich foods at a significantly higher level than do dominant females.

The study, which is available in the online edition of Physiology and Behavior, is a critical step in understanding the psychological basis for the sharp increase in obesity across all age groups since the mid-1970s. The study also is the first to show how food intake can be reliably and automatically measured, thus identifying the optimal animal model and setting for future obesity studies.

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Yesterday we brought you a tale of bar brawling Punkeys. Today, we have this monkey waiting tables! Actually, he may be better than most of the TGIF’s we go to.

You thought you only had to worry about bikers, drunks and cougars at bars. Think again. From Think Spain:

One of two chimpanzees - mother and daughter - that escaped from the Oasis zoo in La Orotava (Occupied Territory) yesterday lunchtime went on to wreak havoc in the Los Rechazos bar nearby until it was recaptured after more than two hours by Guardia Civil officers.

Around twenty lunchtime customers were shocked when the chimp entered the bar at around 2pm - immediately running off into the kitchen where it burned itself before cutting its leg on a stainless steel shelving unit that was totally destroyed.

Resisting all attempts to restrain it, the startled creature continued on its destructive path, causing further damage, including a broken TV set.

The other chimp was quickly rounded up after officers spotted it on a roof terrace.

There’s nothing worse than a pissed off, drunken monkey. Except maybe two of them.

Forget SARS, Avian Flu and the dreaded monkey pox. There’s another pandemic that is on the verge of overtaking the human race:

We are quickly allowing Punkeys to gain control over our daily lives. Now they have invaded our coffee picking and once they have control over our caffine, we will be forced to do their bidding or wander around groggy and defenseless. Either way they win! From Canada.com:

Making this specialty coffee was monkey business.

Vancouver’s 49th Parallel Coffee Roasters have enlisted the aid of some unlikely workers in Southern India to help harvest the best coffee beans — rhesus macaque monkeys.

The coffee critters, who work for peanuts, pick only the few sweetest beans from each plant, which they then store in their mouths for several hours while sucking on the “cherry” fruit before spitting out the inner bean.

Sounds tasty! ABC Coffee. As in Already Been Chewed. MMMMM. We might as well give up now…

A worker then collects the spat-out beans and they are cleaned and roasted, making his job slightly better than the person whose job it is to collect the Kopi Luwak — Sumatran beans harvested from the droppings of civet cats. (more…)